I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
