She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
