Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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