I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
