dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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