He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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