I just made out with a guy for $7.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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