Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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