Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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