she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
