I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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