We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
