I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
