Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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