Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
