Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
