My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
