btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
