meet me or not, i'm out of control
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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