dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A bitchslap is in order.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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