We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
