Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm at about main and main street
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
