take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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