im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
