Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
