You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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