im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
