it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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