now i know why i became what i already was.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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