Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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