I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
