haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
