season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
