Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
