im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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