he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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