would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
