We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
