so that wasnt chicken after all
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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