well you can't waste a boner
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
