you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
