I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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