I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
