I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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