Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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