I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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