She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
