You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ketchup is God's man juice
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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