Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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