Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
