if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
